Love and Diapers

When Mary was pregnant I had a reoccurring dream in which Abigail was born and I felt nothing. I would be in the hospital room or nursery, holding the baby and feel nothing. I'd  hold the baby and spit out platitudes because I'm supposed to love the baby but don't.

The dream always bothered me. I don't know this kid. What if she's a jerk? She's changing my whole life. Who's to say I'll like her?

I was lucky to be able to spend so much time with Abigail the last couple months. I read somewhere that if you want to feel the way you're meant to feel about the new baby you need to do the grunt work. Its only in caring for the a thing that you become attached to it.

Grunt work I've done. Gross gross grunt work. Taking care of a baby is disgusting. Pee. Poop. Vomit. Drool. Snot.  Crying. Screaming. Its like taking care of the worlds cutest alcoholic.

I have a game I play with Abby where I lift her above my head horizontally and walk her around the room. Space Baby. Space Baby is great because it always calms her down. She can be upset and if I take her to space she stops crying. Space baby don't cry. Being a brilliant man, I played this game with Abby right after a feeding. She pointed out the error of my ways by vomiting on my head from space.

I know I've seen something similar happen in horrible romantic comedies, but I couldn't remember how they handled it. It was probably charming and adorable. Dry heaving and cursing are not adorable.

Also, poop. Abigail has started waiting until her diaper is being changed to poop. This is problematic. I'll be changing her, we'll be in the middle of a conversation and she'll just start going. She'd be a great conversationalist if she didn't start pooping in the middle of a thought. When this happens conversation stops and we try not to look each other in the eyes. Its awkward.

I don't know how people watch kids they are not related to. Love is required for me to deal with other another humans poo.

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