Adjusted future

Though Abigail is nearly 11 weeks old, she's only four weeks adjusted age. The adjusted age thing still throws me off, primarily because I'm kinda dumb. Shes almost three months, but shes also almost a month. Its like having a baby with split personality disorder. One baby cries and poops, the other poops and cries.

Regular baby should be smiling by now, the adjusted baby should start smiling this month. Regular baby may start grabbing things, adjusted baby wont for a while. Regular baby will start grabbing her feet soon, adjusted baby doesn't formally acknowledge her feet.

I  focus so much on adjusting that I start adjusting everything. Is the doctors appointment adjusted, so  my appointment is both next week and two months ago? Do we need to have thanksgiving in November and January?  I'm not sure my liver can handle two birthdays.

The doctors stop adjusting her age at two. That doesn't mean I have to. I'm going to adjust everything.

Ear piecing?Adjusted age ear piercing is 15. Driving without Mary and I in the car? Welp, according to my adjusted age document it looks like you'll have to wait until you're 19. Going on a date? Well I'm sorry Abigail but the doctors say you cant date until you're 27.  Belly button piercing? Back tattoo? Two weeks after my funeral.

Sorry pumpkin cheeks, its science.

Cheeks are not adjusted.