Hectic

Its been great getting to spend so much time with Abby. We have two or three face offs a day. I'm at a disadvantage, she has three go to faces (stinkface, tortoise face, Peter Falk) and I only have one (very tired dad). When that game is done we lay on our stomachs and see who can hold their head up longest without starting to scream. I dominate that game.

Its fun. Its also constant chaos. I have no time. I have trouble finding time to shower, to eat, to make formula, to do dishes and laundry.

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror this morning and did not like what I saw. I look like a poorly illustrated mad scientist (will the Hardy Boys crack the Baffled Dad Caper?). My hair is sticking straight up, I have two weeks worth of beard stubble and my laugh has gone from jolly to maniacal. 

Fearing my cartoonish appearance may be terrorizing Abigail, I decided to clean up. She was sound asleep in her bassinet so I made my move. My back is sore, so I decided a bath was the way to go. A nice calming bath. I can read, relax, sooth my aching back. HUBRIS. As soon I as settled in she woke up, screaming. I tried in vain to calm her from the tub. Didn't work, clean up aborted. My torso is damp but I still look insane.

I find myself trying to make side deals with God. God, make her go back to sleep and I wont blaspheme again for another 20 minutes. God, calm her down long enough so I can shower and shave and I'll go vote in our municipal elections. Apparently God hasn't cared for the terms of my proposals. I've never been a strong negotiator.

God, ensure that this diaper is not a blowout and I'll stop entering into half-assed negotiations with you.

Want to wake me up? Make lunch or shower