Zero Day!

Its Abigails due date! Our seven week old was supposed to be born today! She's now 0 days old adjusted age, an exciting achievement.

Now doctors can judge me!

Being 0 is an exciting time in any young womans life. Breathing. Crying. Pooping. Existing. The thing is, being 0 is wasted on her. She doesn't appreciate the moment. When she's two or three weeks adjusted age she'll look back on the halcyon days of zero and realize she squandered her time. Soon she'll have to lift her head, smile, recognize us, start to crawl. The pressure will build  and she'll think, "Oh, to be zero again".

Tank is planning on celebrating by spitting up on dad, yelling at us as soon as we fall asleep and watching the Coen brothers A Serious Man.

I completely wasted my adjusted dad time. I'm now zero in adjusted dad age, meaning everything before this has been for naught. 3 am feedings? Didn't count. Rocking chair time? Pointless. Diaper changes? What a waste.

If I had discovered the adjusted dad loophole earlier I'd just be getting back from Mexico and you'd all be marveling at my awesome new tattoo.

Cant now. Responsibly adjusted.